these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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