Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize