4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
