omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
