My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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