I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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