You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
