Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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