Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize