Whatcha textin bout Willis?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
