Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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