I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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