Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
