you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
