I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How external is "for external use only"?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
