After last night, I could never be a politician.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my shit smells like andre
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
