My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
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I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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