do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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