She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize