I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
