she was so not down for the gang bang
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
