haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
