i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
did i just pee glitter
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
