I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Slut skills are useful in every country.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
