oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize