What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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