If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
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