ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
