Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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