PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
