Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
