wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where is the hickey?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just had sex on a roof
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
