I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
