So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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