love makes seman taste better
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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