I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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