I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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