I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
