Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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