another moral hangover. fuck.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
