Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
