I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
