i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
