Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
