I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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