Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
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His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
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A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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