considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
