He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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