There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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