The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
