and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
