I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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