it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
