The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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